Secret Love
by VariaPrincess666
Summary: A girl who has a secret crush on Shinichi. My first oneshot/songfic/romance fic. Based on Mai Kuraki's 'Koi ni Koishite'. Constructive criticism is appreciated.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan in anyway. I merely own the plot and nothing else. The english translation for 'Koi no Koishite' is from this site: ****beautiful song lyrics. Blogspot 2012/ 08/ mai- kuraki -koi -ni- koishite- #. Ub o0 lp XF LtJ**

**Warning: This is my first shot at romance. Tips on improving this fic is much appreciated. *grin grin happy bunny face hehe***

Falling in love...

People call that feeling as something fake, something that will never happen. But for me, I actually disagree. Why? Well, I've already fallen in love with somebody. Who's that somebody? You should know him... His name is Kudo Shinichi-senpai.

_Just by falling in love with loving you_

_I still want to say_

_Because I'm happy by just keeping it as a secret_

_Now it's only my secret love_

I didn't fall in love with senpai at first sight. In fact, I fell in love with him months later. I realized how kind he was apart from him being smart, handsome and well... popular. I know that this sounds like one of those cheesy mangas you read or the animes you watch but it's true. And now, I'm trying to hold these feelings in.

_I'm not interested in you at all - that's a lie, you are my perfect guy_

_I can't hide my heartbeat, the truth is I can't help but notice it_

_I'm acting like a different person in front of you because of this fall-in-love clumsy style_

_It stays as a secret I can't tell anyone._

Ever since I fell in love with Shinichi-senpai, my friends were teasing me on how I was in love with him. No matter how much I denied it or lied to them, they still insisted. And yet, I was still in love wih him.

Every time I stare into his eyes, my heart starts racing that I could feel it and when we're talking face-to-face, I become rather clumsy in front of him. Maybe it's part of falling in love.

_Even with that, I'm alright, no one can understand_

_the origin of love, right?_

_Surely, I believe this love will come true one day_

_Yet, it isn't the last chance for me_

Even in keeping these unfathomable feelings to myself, I still feel alright. If there's tomorrow, there's still hope. Nobody can understand love or the situation I am now. But then, I still believe that my dream will happen someday.

_Imagining lots of love stories in this heart_

_But the these ideals are still very far_

_I'm selfish - That's what I do know_

_But is it somehow not good?_

Right in the middle of class, I daydream about all the different romantic fantasies about senpai and myself. Even if his childhood friend, Mouri Ran-senpai is in love with him, I still want him. You can call me selfish, but I already know that. I smile tiredly as I stare outside the window.

"Could that dream ever come true?" I whisper.

_Just by falling in love with with you_

_I still want to say _

_Because I'm happy just keeping it a secret._

_Now it's only my secret love._

Sometimes, I ask myself. Why do I enjoy keeping it a secret? I really want to show him and let him see my feelings whenever I see him and yet, I refrain myself and simply place on a simple smile. I asked my parents whether it was normal or not and I didn't get an answer from them. And now, I finally found the reason why. I don't want to experience a certain feeling. I don't want to experience heartbreak.

_Just by thinking of you_

_My heart beat won't stop_

_It becomes fun, but also anxious_

_At this rate, there's no good in being a coward_

_Please give me even a bit of courage, God_

I have planned so much ways to try to confess my feelings to him. To get rid of the heartache that feels so heavy in my chest. For a moment, it suddenly disappears when I see him. My heart beat races that people beside me might have noticed it. And then I feel like I'm a coward. And to tell the truth, I am a coward trying to find courage, praying to God that I'll find it soon. Perhaps this is just one of the things that lovesick teenagers feel.

_But I'm saying bye bye to myself who was here up to now_

_I'm here to tell my love..._

_Just by waiting patiently, surely nothing will start at this point_

_Yeah it is the best chance for me._

Whenever I see Ran-senpai with Shinichi-senpai together, laughing and having fun, the heartache worsens and worsens and I feel like my hope is slowly fading. I enter my room and lock the door and cry silently until the pain goes away and I'll return back to my normal self.

_Imagining lots of love stories in this heart,_

_But how long is it until I can reach those ideals?_

_I'm selfish - forgive me at least for that_

_I want to be the only one for you_

How long should I wait for it to come? I'm holding the fading hope right now and I'm waiting for it to grant my wish. Was fate betraying me or was it simply granting another girl's wish?

"I don't care anymore." I mutter "I'm gonna do this."

_Just by falling in love with loving you_

_I still want to say_

_Because I'm happy by just keeping it as a secret_

_Now it's only my secret love _

I want to be the only one for him. But I know that that's impossible and rather selfish. If he finds out about that wish, I hope that he'll forgive me in some way. I place a small letter inside his locker and walk away, with a blush clear on my face. _I wonder if he'll pick it up. _I think. I can't tell him who I am just yet... And so for now, he's only my secret love.

**A/N: That was a rather cheesy oneshot/story daiyo ne? I can't proofread this cuz' there's class tomorrow where I get to meet my different teachers and escape from the boring 4 days of orientation WEEEEEEE!**

**-Rei**


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